A square jaw, uncertain music, and a pipe

Hey Folks,

Hope you had yourselves a good week. Is it sunny anywhere in the world? We’ve been experiencing a lot of thunderstorms. At one point I considered swimming to the post office. My six-year-old pointed out that there wasn’t enough water. Point taken.

This week I’ve got an interesting roundup of idioms for you. Well, I always think they’re interesting, otherwise I wouldn’t share them with you! Hey, everybody’s gotta have a passion. Apparently I salivate over words.

Square Your Jaw

Picture a square, chiselled jaw. Beautiful. Half the male acting world has such a jaw. But what does the expression mean? If you don’t have a square jaw, make yourself one? Yeah, go ahead, square that jaw of yours.

Hmmm.

Ok, let’s try again.

Let’s say you’re about to enter a difficult situation. It could be having to talk to your teacher, principal, boss, neighbour, friend – and for some reason it’s going to be real awkward, Folks. So, figuratively speaking… square your jaw. Give yourself a firm jawline. Don’t smile. Be all seriousness.

Got it yet? Maybe you want to go practice in the mirror. Square jaw, square jaw, here we go.

Um, no, not like that.

The definition for “square your jaw” is showing manliness or strength. Hmm, does that mean square jaws are out for the ladies? Ok, ladies, what shall it be, then? Shall we go for curved jaws? Triangular?

In all seriousness, here are two example sentences.

Ooh, have you got that tough dentist appointment coming up? Better square your jaw.

He squared his jaw and faced down his opponents in the courtroom.

Face the Music

Right, don’t turn away from it. You might not hear it so well.

Umm, wrong again.

Again, with idioms, it’s all figurative figurative figurative. Go figure.

You’ve done something with repercussions. Right, of course you have. Well, now you have to pay for what you’ve done. Not pay as in dole out dough (huh? Not from that generation? Ok, $$), but pay as in make amends. You broke your mom’s favourite vase? Time to face the music. You gotta tell her. You neglected to keep an appointment? Well, tell whoever is involved: your dentist, your tennis coach, your friend at the mall, your teacher.

Here are a few sentences:

I guess I shirked my duties and didn’t study all term. Time for me to face the music. (I picture wailing violins).

You’ve got to face the music and tell your teacher what happened.

Next up:

Put that in your pipe and smoke it

Now this one might be a bit dated, but sooooooo fun to say or add to your writing. I expect you’ve seen a pipe? And someone smoking it? Pipe smokers are few and far between. They were few and far between when I was a kid, but now even more so. Maybe they’re hiding out somewhere at the pipers’ club (Hey, this is the pipers’ club, you know, for piping music. You’ve got the wrong club, oh bearded ancient one).

Anyways, I don’t think I have even held a pipe. But I know that you take tobacco leaves (I think), and stuff them into the bowl of the pipe, light it, and start puffing away like Thomas the Tank Engine. Now, sometimes the quality of the tobacco might be low, the leaves might be soggy, and someone can pull a prank on you and add something putrid to your pipe, and before you know it, you’re inhaling goat poop (true story – go read Boy by Roald Dahl if you think I’m pulling your leg). But whatever the quality, you gotta smoke it.

So in terms of “put that in your pipe and smoke it”, think of a piece of unpleasant news someone has given you, or something nasty they told you, or something you have to contend with. Like food for thought, but ughy food, the type that might give you indigestion (figuratively speaking. This is all figurative, my big and small friends).

In modern parlance it might be something like:

"So there!" (and you thumb your nose at them)

"See what you do with what I’ve just told you."

Or you get the last word in on something, and depending on your generation, you’re liable to say one of the following: Gotcha! You’re shafted. Burnt. Roasted. Cat got your tongue?

But that last one is another idiom and another kettle of fish, best left for another time and another day.

I won’t give you sample sentences, because that is the sentence:

Put that in your pipe and smoke it!

You just have to think of a situation to work it into. And I’ll bet now you’re just itchin’ to try. Huh? Huh?

That’s all for now, Folks. Keep smiling and see where it gets you.

Oh, hold on, that’s not quite it for now.

I’ve got a little story I want to tack on at the end, just for fun. You can write me in the comments and let me know if you’re ever in a situation like I chronically find myself in (as the story will proceed to unfold).

IN SEARCH OF A SAYING

Yesterday evening when I was in the kitchen, I suddenly thought of a saying. It was a great idiom, a delicious expression, one that I wanted to remember and keep, and use often.

But on my way to the bedroom I lost it.

So I retraced my steps, thinking it might still be in the kitchen but it wasn’t.

I searched all around, on the kitchen floor, the dining room, the living room, the hallway leading to the bedroom, but it was nowhere to be found.

Where could I have dropped the saying? I scratched my brain, but nothing came up. The idiom was gone.

I even asked my family members, but they knew nothing of the expression.

I thought it might surprise me and jump out at me, but it didn’t.

I thought if I pretended not to look, it would sneak up on me, but I heard nothing.

I thought when I went to sleep it might visit me in my dreams, but no such luck.

I missed it and was sad. Great expressions don’t come so often. Not like that great, delicious saying.

And then today when I was in the kitchen again (I think it must be a great place for words), another saying came, a great idiom, a delicious expression, one that I wanted to remember and keep, and use often. Quick as a wink I caught it and put it in my pocket.

Every so often I take a peek.

It’s still there.